Hope Vs Expectation

I'm back with a new inspiration for a blog. Its NOT about Harry Potter again, so all those who read my blog and aren't in the habit of reading the Harry Potter Series need not be disappointed again.
What inspired me to write this blog is a conversation with my friend. This blog is organised as a pair of situations and my reasoning to it...So i will start off with what inspired me to write the blog and continue with my wandering thoughts after that.

Situation:
(Hey! Friend1- this is not exactly our conversation, but I have modified it so that other people can understand what I am talking about, not everyone knows things about you and me as much as we do ;))
Friend1: It really surprises me as to the number of people you are close to.
Me: Well that's me
Friend1: But you are Clingy.
Me: Yeah sure, if I consider someone really close to me i do so for life
Friend1: Don't you think you should be selective about who you consider close. I let very few people close to my heart.
Me: Why is that because you are scared that if you get close to a lot of people there are high chances that they might hurt you and so u are close to only those you are sure wont hurt you.
Friend1: Exactly.

Reasoning:
Why should I let someone to be really close to me only when i am sure that they wont hurt me? Well, even if I like the person a lot, I have zero expectations. My liking towards that person is not based on what I expect him or her to do. For example (This is how usually friendship breaks) even if that person goes ahead and speaks behind my back and I find out. There are two ways I take this back biting

1) If I am actually guilty of doing any such thing, its my opportunity to accept my mistake and undo it and I am thankful to that person for it.
2) If I am not guilty of it, i can only pity the ignorance of that person. But doesn't mean I stop considering that person as my friend because he or she dint think of me the way I wanted him or her to think of me.

I might face a ego battle between the two choices, but the truth is evident always if you choose not to camouflage it.
After I told my friend this she asked me

Friend1: So you are telling me that if at this instance (hypothetically) I tell you I wont be friends with you anymore you wont be hurt?
Me: I wont! I don't rule your mind, I don't expect you to trust me, I don't expect you to tell me everything that's happening in your life. Even if you choose not to talk to me ever I still consider you as someone close to me.
Friend1: :)
Me:When there is a world filled with nice people why should i restrict my liking to only a selected few.

Situation:
Another conversation with a friend at undergrad after all of us got our results.

Me: Whats wrong with you.
Friend2: I got a 75 in maths paper, I was expecting at least a 90. Its was my favorite subject, looks like I am not good at it after all. How did you do in your maths?
Me: I got a 92
Friend2: Wow your brilliant! How about Engineering Drawing, Its been your favorite subject and you've always topped it in college midterms. You've been the profs favorite too, he was expecting you to score a cent um.
Me: Well I got a 55.
Friend: Ooh god! Are you okay?
Me: Of course.

Reasoning:
The reason why you don't get the score you "expect" to get in a subject can be a wide range of factors beyond your control after you write the exam. But the expectations was what hurt the girl to the extent that she thought that it was not her favorite subject anymore? A 55 in my exam did not make me blind to the fun in engineering drawing.

Situation:
There was this friend of mine from another department who told me he had fallen in love with my classmate. He expressed his feelings to her, but she denied acceptance of his love for her, but assured him that she liked him as a friend. My friend dint come to terms with his rejection and continued to try to woo her. Time passed by they kept in touch as friends, by that time my friend got over his crush and there was a new girl in his life who reciprocated his admiration. My classmate then calls up my friend and the following is the conversation

Classmate: I heard from Pavi that you are going around with this new girl.
Friend3: Yeah, dint I tell you about her.
Classmate: Yeah, but I thought it was your one other pranks to woo me. I thought you were trying to make me jealous
Friend3: What are you talking about?
Classmate: You have betrayed me. I thought you like me and no one else. I liked you too.
Friend3: I did like you before and I expressed it too. You never accepted it and I have gotten over my past experiences. If you had told me yes before things would have been different, but this girl is who i want to be with now
Classmate: You are such a cheat I dint expect this from you. You have hurt me a lot.

Reasoning:
This girl based her liking on this guy because he for long without giving up tried to woo her? She expected him to take his admiration for her to his grave? If she did like him all she should have done is accepted it and the course of things from that point of time would have been happy. What she failed to notice is that her unreasonable expectation is what hurt her and that he was not a cheat.

Situation:
This is the time in my university when new students are coming in, and when they see us seniors around the place they tend to talk to us to gather information and also tell us how they feel about the new place. In one such conversation with a new student. (New Student(if you get to read this blog): Don't misunderstand me that I am trying to mock you, but hope you see the reasoning behind it)

New Student: I am feeling very home sick.
Me: Oh yeah you tend to be. Is this your first time out of home.
New Student: Yeah. I am sure I am going to miss my parents a lot. I am very close to them. When I have my exams they used to just bring my food to me in my room and come back to collect the dishes too. Living with friends is not going to be fun. My mom's such a great cook. I have to do with my cooking now :(. I never even used to wash my own plate at home. The houses are in such miserable conditions here, I dint expect the US to be like this. My room in India was so cozy. My parents have always made sure that they took care of everything for me all I had to do was go to college. So I am planning to go home in December so that I feel better about it.

Reasoning:
This conversation is not about only one particular student, but its based on what I have heard from a lot of people here. They actually miss their parents because they cant expect anyone here to do all what their parents did for them when they lived with them? So basically the hurt is not the absence of parents but the disappointment of expectations not satisfied by roommates or friends.

Situation:
I'm not trying to say I have never made the mistake of having expectations from people. This one is a good example. When i was applying to universities in the US I had one favorite university. I so badly wanted to get admission into that university. I emailed one professor in that university and he used to reply to my mails. He gave me suggestions as to how i could improve on my skills regarding my area of interest. This encouragement gave me an expectation that this professor will recommend my admission. But it so happened that i received a reject one night and what i ended up doing crash my self worth and cry all night.

Reasoning:
It was not the professor's fault. His replies to my mail doesn't guarantee me an admission in the university, he isn't the one in the selection committee. The fault was mine, instead of of expecting to get an admit i should have hoped to get an admit. Apart from the hope, i should have also realised that what I did was try my best and that I don't have any say over things beyond my control. This maturity of mind would have helped me handle the situation in a better way.According to me Hope cannot hurt. Expectation can hurt!

So what I am trying to say is that I don't think anyone has the right to expect anything from another living soul, even if its going to be your parents, your spouse, your best friend, your love....etc etc. And I cant see how you can get hurt or base your liking on whether they satisfy your expectations. Some of you reading this might have a question like - "So you mean to say you never get hurt? Don't tell me!". My answer to this is, of course I get hurt and that's when I do mistakes and don't feel good about it till I do something to correct it. I dont "expect" all of you'll to relate with this blog but I "hope" you see the reasoning behind it.